It’s December 4th. As usual, my narrative should include the chilly winds and the cold stillness. I have done it numerous times in the past and still relish the whole experience. Listening to the cold winds, peering into the noisy darkness outside my window, rustle of the dry leaves falling. I loved this part of life.
I'd always considered patterns to be dull but now I realize that there could be times when they aren't. Unknowingly, one begins to expect things to happen the way it has been happening. These winds and this chill for instance. Some part of my mind expects them at the time they are supposed to begin. Unintentionally, a longing creeps in. And some kind of gladness sets in when I feel their presence.
It’s all anarchy now. Either there exists no pattern or some strange chaotic pattern is in the process of being evolved which could set in. Today, on this 4th of December, I see an overcast sky outside. It’s humid and warm. The alcohol is showing 31. There could be a rain.
Nothing new about it. Climate becoming awry and unpredictable. Global warming. Nowadays, these words have started acquiring a kind of cult status. Like socialism. People react to them with the tired expression. As if saying “We ain’t the kind of activist who goes whining around about such stuff”.
Yes, about December. I remember, last Christmas or the one before, me and my brother were together at our place. I don’t remember the day, but it was almost noon and inspired by the festive mood in the air, we decided to give the car a wash which it really needed. While we were doing that, a bunch of boys passing by, mostly under 10, started hollering at us. They were pointing out at the star with the bulb inside still on.
Like an idiot, I just nodded and said that’s O.K. It was a quick reflex. I swear. With a look of disappointment, the kids left. And I was filled with the worst regret ever. I could have acted surprised and gone inside to switch it off. It would have satisfied the kids. More than that, it could have been an inspiration for them in the sense that what they pointed out was really a serious issue. What I did was to simply extinguish their enthusiasm. The worst part is that I'd conveyed the wrongest message ever. “It was O.K to have the bulb kept on in the daytime”. They knew it was wrong. That’s why they had pointed it out. But an elder person had just disregarded that concern.
I tried hard to justify. It was merely what they call as a zero bulb. It consumed very less. However I tried, I knew the harm had been done. In someway, I had destroyed the confidence and initiative of the kids to point out a wrong. An exaggerated shocked expression and a prompt switching off of that bulb could have evoked a triumphant feeling in them. I would have lost nothing.
It was then that I started watching these kinds of things. However hard we advertise, run campaigns or erect hoardings, unless elders set the example, kids won’t bother much about these things. Maybe the teenagers care much about it. It's a revolting age and no one expects them to. But the little kids do.
I have seen some old timers with their feet almost in their graves behave in the same irresponsible manner. True, their time is up. True, they are tired. But they forget that for a six or seven year old, they are the heros and role models to be inspired from. It is really a crime to ignore that responsibility.